This is unbelievable. I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry. Check out the newest editions to Alpha Video's "Grindhouse" line:

Grindhouse Double Shock Show: Prisoner Of The Lost Universe (1984) / Star Odyssey (1978)

Grindhouse Double Shock Show: War Of The Robots (1978) / It's Alive (1968)

Am I the only one utterly baffled by this?

What do these titles have to do with grindhouses? There is no sex and the exploitation elements, well, okay if you want to go out on a limb and claim that Star Odyssey is exploiting Star Wars I suppose that's fairly obvious. But a grindhouse feature it is not! (Now Beast in Space on the other hand. .)

Is it just me or does it seem that all Alpha Video is doing with their "Grindhouse" line is releasing titles that have already been released, some half a hundred times, by roughly half a dozen other budget labels? I know it most likely a marketing ploy and maybe I am old fashioned in thinking the movies should at least have something to do with the genre label attached, or maybe it's just that to me grindhouse screams SEX AND VIOLENCE. . And I know War of the Robots and Star Odyssey have neither. Which is disappointing, in a ostensiblyt GRINDHOUSE double feature.

I don't mean to sound like I'm criticizing the company because the PD market is very shallow. Between corporations like Disney and the MPAA/RIAA the public domain isn't what it once was. Still, knowing there's not that many movies out there with decent quality source prints for a DVD company to release, and seeing PD companies slapping whatever genre label seems to be in vogue at the moment and just releasing ANYTHING they can get their hands on is migrane inducing.

Maybe it's just me. When I saw these two double features it just really got my hackles up for some reason. But, to play Devil's Advocate, if you didn't get War of the Robots when Retromedia released it or somehow don't have it on one of the seemingly endless supply of multi movie packs that Treeline/Mill Creek churns out like diarrhea in a Taco Bell bathroom then, I suppose, this is a real boon. While Star Odyssey was released in at least two different Brentwood multi-movie packs AND a "dollar store" release but those were the gravy days when there were so many budget DVDs we probably passed over half the titles we chould have gotten and. . .

Who are we kidding. If you don't have these movies by now it's because you don't want them. And, trust me, you probably don't want these either. It's not like Alpha is presenting new transfers struck from a film negative. We all know what is up with Alpha. (By which I mean they're primarily a PD company, meaning they source their video from whatever library sources are available, which are usually old tape maters.) These are probably going to be ports of the same tired old prints. The only thing Alpha is giving us extra are screen bugs. To which I say NO THANK YOU(*). But what really bothers me is, I think it's safe to say, these two titles NEVER played a Grindhouse. I know, based on the research I've done, that I can't even confirm these ever played a NORMAL theater. So how these obscure spaghetti space operas suddenly get case as grindhouse double features?

Grindhouses were primarily theaters that showed (s)exploitation films, period. Grindhouse movies were sleazy, dirty, and gave rise to such colloquialisms as "trench coat crowd". Movies such as Salon Kitty, 99 Women, Olga's House of Shame, Ilsa the Wicked Warden, Pussy Talk, and Vampyres could qualify as "Grindhouse" features. War of the Robots. . . War of the Robots barely qualifies as garden variety exploitation. Star Odyssey you could make an argument for but I seriously doubt it ever played at an actual drive-in.

So why is Alpha releasing this (or any of the sci-fi titles on the DVDs linked to above) as a Grindhouse double feature? What am I missing?

(*) To be fair that's a pet peeve of mine. Most people will probably not find the screen bugs intrusive as they are typically limited to a few seconds at the beginning of the movie, usually during the title scroll.

EDIT: You can read a slightly longer, and perhaps a bit better though out, version of this rant over at my Mise-en-scene Crypt Blog.